Whispers, Images, Affirmations

Imagery and Conversation with God Sitting Near Me

Sometimes I ponder if I’ll ever find adequate ways to express sentiments that flood into and from the chambers of my heart.

Thoughts, words, images, intentions, memories, dreams, regrets, hurts, insecurities, and hopes tied with love that binds every bit of it together as blood continually courses in shifting hues of reds and tinges of blues.

Breathe in, hold, breathe out.

Stretch, relax, melt like warm velvety wax.

Float gently across the sky like a white, billowy cloud up high.

Listen to the waving grass and the dancing leaves sprouting life back to trees while riding piggy back on a delightful breeze.

Sparkle like shimmering stars against the vast darkness of night.

Gain insight from the perspective of the man in the moon.

Radiate warm welcomed cheer from an energetic faithful sun.

Quietly melting with fluidity into the babbling brooks towards cascading waterfalls to journey with the sea.

To push through the rocks and the dirt in a dress of bright greens crowned with glorious, colorful, majestic, fragrant flowers of all shapes and sizes.

To skip in reckless abandon upon the whispering wings of a butterfly.

To nestle securely upon birds with downy feathers as they freely fly and sing to God praises on high.

To stand in presence with the promise of rainbows that bring reassurance and hope.

To give love freely and to freely receive it.

To embrace my complexities, share my strengths and accept my weaknesses.

To teach my life, find delights to aging gracefully, but always seek greater lessons.

To evolve into maturity yet maintain my little girl inside of me.

To pick myself up, dust myself off, and always attempt

to stand back up every time I trip, fall down, or jump from pit to pit because I am human just like every other sojourner seeking the true path of life even when detours can force us into frightening territories and terrifying circumstances.

To mourn our many loved ones gone but to smile and laugh from joyful memories that remain forever with us.

To choose focus on the good rather than wallow on the less than moments and the whys and ifs.

To trust my authenticity instead of believing the numerous lies and attacks plotted by evil deceptions and manipulations that are threatened by Holy Hands of power and protection.

To return the innocent heart and wonder of my little girl back into the splendid vision of God’s lovely bride covered in beautiful white forever in His sight.

To sit captivated near the feet of Jesus and know completely that Heaven is our Eternal Home.

Words rambling, visuals dancing, thoughts pondering, comfort found during the birthing hours of this new, February Thursday forming day 24, 2011 <><

May God feel blessed by this humble servant as I try to discern his voice and direction and guidance to become a better disciple of love, compassion, faith, empathy, grace, mercy, trust and hope towards His purpose and plan to give me and you full hope and a future and orchestrate all things to good for those of us who love the LORD and are called according to His will as we prepare and wait upon His Kingdom.

Thank you Lord for your unconditional love and unwavering trust on my life’s ever changing, ongoing journey as I search the path where my footprints stand with yours.

Annette Monts Falls

Reshaping Our Vessel of Clay

How do eight weeks pass, summertime be well into July heat, and we can hardly remember our way home? Sometime today, God willing, we will leave the hospital and not have to be readmitted for a long time! Clay's gastrostomy mickey is now replaced with a Gastrostomy/Jejeunostomy tube.....a lot more obvious and larger than the simple mickey, but if jejeunostomy feeds keep us home, by golly we will happily accommodate larger tubing and learning a new method of feeding him after 24 years!!! His stomach no longer empties as it should because of bands of tissue and anatomy constricting the area that opens into the intestine and also keeps food from back flowing to the stomach......(it's all complicated and at 50, my brain is much foggier than when I was 26, so I'll just say complicated; it all makes sense, just no need to go into grand detail for now).....so the J tube will allow feeds to be absorbed by avoiding the stomach. We will use the G tube port for medication dispersal and water flushes, but for the enteral Nutren 2.0, we now will use a feeding pump and slow feed the majority of the day through the J tube. Overwhelming? YES! Adjusting ~ adapting? YES! Clay has had a gastrostomy since he was a year old....bolus feeds; now to convert back to a jejeunostomy and a feeding pump is a work in progress, but feasible. If this measure keeps him healthy and at home, we definitely will learn and adjust accordingly. It has been a very long eight weeks with only 14 nights cumulative with him at home between readmits. Prayerfully the docs from Internal Medicine have finally pinpointed why we kept needing to return with feeding issues. Thank God, they feel this has been the reason.....all he has been through has been difficult and exhausting. But Clay is still with us and we hope this new feeding regimen will be finishing glaze on his now reformed vessel. There is much more I can explain and possibly post, but for now a smaller post to update our status. Please keep Clay in your prayers. We appreciate all of them as we anticipate going home at some point today and very prayerfully, our lives will begin to get back to normal with some modifications and rest. We are blessed to still have Clay here with us......so many amazing miracles and extreme blessings during this eight week ordeal. I cannot fathom how Mary endured Jesus suffering; I experienced much conflict with emotions in my prayers and groans that words could not express as we watched Clay suffering horribly and painfully as he has. His journey here is not finished yet; he says his angels have been with him and he is to stay here with us. I don't know for how long, but I will treasure my jar of Clay for as long as God ordains our purposes here on Earth. He is sovereign and He deserves much praise for all He has provided. Love remains never ending. To all those reading this post I wish you much love, many hugs, and abundant blessings, Annette