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CORINTHIANS 13

Love is patient, love is kind.
It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

And now these three remain:
faith, hope and love.


But the greatest of these is love.

Clayton Alexander Falls's Fan Box

Friday, May 16, 2008

The Hilton Protective Association (aka my daddy)

The above sign is posted beside our kitchen door. Funny thing, a few visitors have asked about it recently. I tend to forget that folks come to my door and read the sign that hangs alongside. It has been there about two years now. There is great history in the sign. When I was a little girl, Lake Murray was often just a weekend and/or summer retreat for most people who did not actually live in the local areas prior to the lake's formation. The lake is very large and the 'building' of it was quite an accomplishment. Many families moved to other areas as their land was cleared for future water. It would be amazing to be able to fully look back at the before, the during, and the now after. Many million dollar mansions now occupy the exact spaces that modest 'weekend' cabins once stood. There are those that still stand and date way back when, but for the most part, old has been torn down over the years, and luxury, high end homes have replaced the original ones I vividly recall in my memory. Some things still exist I am glad to report amidst the mental decline. G Richard Shafto, a wonderful man who shaped much of my childhood memories, had a lake home below my parent's home. Jake Meetze Road, the physical address of the Falls family, is virtually surrounded by Lake Murray. The area where hwy 76 turns onto Wessinger Road, Chapin has always been referred to as HILTON. If you travel past our home, (and the home of my parents very close by........a stone's throw if you have a great arm) you must come back unless you depart to a different location through floating passage. It is amazing the number of homes that now occupy the acreage that was basically pine wooded everywhere, as little as thirty or so years ago. I can accurately recall that Jake Meetze (Metts) for those of you who call it Meet-zee Road, was hard topped the summer of 1964............I know this because in late June, that same year, my baby brother was born and joined our household. A phone call to the next door neighbor (could not even begin to see it next door) prompted my older sister and I to come running home when my parents returned with him. I remember still the dark, very hot, sticky asphalt as I ran (it felt like the speed of lightening) the distance to behold for the first time, my baby brother Lee. Funny, I do not at all recall him............but I vividly recall the 'pavement'.........funny thing isn't it? Years and years later I can also vividly recall that often our summer entertainment was popping huge, swelling tar bubbles with our toenails under the hot, relentless sun. I think it took a consecutive 365 days to wear off the tar plastered upon our bare feet. Oh how much fun Lee and I had, trying to out do the other in finding and defeating the largest of boiling tar bubbles............that explains my size 5.5 foot............not sure how Lee's grew so much longer! Obviously, I suffered more severely than he did..........could not let my baby brother out do me, could I? Mr Shafto was basically the founder of WIS radio and WIS television......channel 10 in the old broadcast days. He and Mrs Shafto, Treva, often spent weekends and longer spells at their beautiful lake home. My father became a valued friend of Mr and Mrs Shafto. Daddy helped keep up their yard and also was considered by many to be the best fishing guide on Lake Murray. Mr Shafto often depended upon my father to guide him to the best black bass in the state. He would bring up other business men, lawyers, doctors, educators to enjoy a day or more on the lake under the careful and skillful guidance of my dad. Governor James F Byrnes loved to fish under my dad's supervision. Mrs Shafto would almost always stop by our house and include Lee and I in 'errands' out to the Hilton stores.........Slices and Haltiwangers. She would take us to one and then faithfully the next trip, take us to the other store for 'treats'........jigsaw puzzles, crayons, coloring books, perhaps a little candy here and there. I will always smile at the memory of a miniscule "Stuart Little" scooting across the crowded, piled on top of everything else, store floor under our feet and Lee exclaiming........"I want one of those!" Mrs Shafto made honest attempts to teach me to swim off the dock but I never mastered it........to this date, I still wonder if I can float. I look out at my bird feeders and constantly argue with the squirrels that refuse to earn their sustenance honestly and I recall she despised them also, calling them rats with fancy tails. Mr Shafto loved photography, and many of our photos from the 1960's were taken and developed by him. Because their home was relatively 'isolated' back then, Mr Shafto depended upon my dad to supervise the security of the dwelling and land. He was so inventive that he ran some kind of alert through the phone line (remember party lines?) to our house and if someone 'broke in' an alarm would go off in our hallway outside my parent's bedroom. Daddy would grab his shotgun and off in his truck he would go. Sometimes my two older brothers went with him as backup. The sign pictured above was posted in numerous spots throughout the lake's point in and around the Shafto residence. Mr Shafto had them made and I suppose in many ways the signs 'thwarted' some attempts from others to make themselves welcome at the time. Over the years as I have driven by car, no longer by bicycle nor stunted foot, to reminisce my childhood years, I have noticed many of the signs from then, bare of words and weather worn. I shared with Fred the story of the signs and one day, soon after my parents made the decision to move to the Lowman Home, assistive living facility, I began to ache to 'own' one of the remaining warning signs.........I contacted a retired doctor who still owned one of the original farm houses where the signs were posted. He has a couple still on his property and I asked him if I might be able to take one. To my delight, a few weeks later, the sign at my door was left at my parents front porch. The doctor had decided and taken upon himself to give me the sign that was the best preserved and hanging upon his farmhouse side. Fred did not have to climb the tall tree for the beaten up one; the doctor had gifted me greatly with a physical memory. I immediately, after basking in the surprise of it all, placed a nail at my kitchen door and hung the sign that is not that much younger than I am, and likely aged more gracefully with a wonderful history to tell. It is the sign pictured above. I forget that other people must wonder what the heck the sign means. No hunting, fishing or picnicking?.........A couple of weeks ago when Clay's new love seat was delivered, the younger delivery man asked me......."do you have trouble with people picnicking?"...........it took me a moment to realize he had read the 'sign'..........and then the explanation. Oh let me tell you..........my daddy was the Hilton Protective Association a long time ago............. The second photo shows a wreath that used to hang on my door until the neighbor's cat realized birds liked to nest in the bottom curvature. It was relocated to the motion light early last year out of harms way. This is already the third brood of baby finches this year........they simply keep building new nests on top of the 'poop' filled older nests. So I guess they eventually decided they were not hunting, fishing or picnicking; or just maybe, they already knew the rest of the story. Love and hugs, you are always welcomed at our kitchen door! Annette 5-14-2008

Monday, April 28, 2008

Time Away

Hard to imagine that it has been nearly three months since I took time to post a new blog entry. A quick comment today sparked me to come back for a while, so I appreciate your sincere interest in the things I somehow put words to. I am still feeling like a worn out lantern, as my previous post explained; however, careful preservation over the next several months should allow new energies and strengths to find a way back to my personal vessel. I honestly admit that I am actually scared with the coming health interventions and protections.........I thought I had enough of those kind of things performed on me already. Yet, I seem to need to rid myself of unnecessary parts that will hopefully bring more energy and spring to a gal rapidly approaching an old bitty. Finally, the decisions have been made that such surgery has become a necessity in the now instead of somewhere down the road. I sometimes like long roads, but hopefully, prayerfully, this sojourn will grace us with calm and healing moments. My greatest concerns are keeping up with Clay's daily needs and fear of going through another strenuous, lengthy round of adhesion conflict. If I could just be assured it will not be as tough as my surgery in October last year..........I, yie, yie........no fun at all. Clay will become 23 on May 19..........a young, brilliant and handsome adult man who was never to live out his first breaths. How he blesses all of us whom he pours his love and mischief upon so eagerly. How his face lights the dark in our days and nights when life gets muddled and tough and non cooperative of late. He is the glue that keeps our sanity.......and believe me, God gave him a very tough assignment in keeping us sane.........not always 100%, but often close enough to pass. This mother's love of this child is immeasurable and he returns it to me so exuberantly it wells tears of pure joy and love spilling down my face. Sometimes I wonder which of us is truly the strongest of the two............I think it is in reality a complete toss up. Sometimes it is heads up for mom and the next day it will be that for Clay and vice verse when our heads fall down time to time. The incredible potential in Clay keeps us going as a family unit. We strive and we advocate and educate to any one we can straddle in of his incredible life journey right here in our very midst of our community. The grandest thing is when Clay has increasing opportunity to be out and about with peers, he really starts to shine and show others who he really is on the inside..........a brilliant, warped, comedic, all loving disciple of Christ. The face of Clay shines as the face of Jesus..........brilliant, loving and uncondionally compassionate towards others. How did I get so lucky? Brandon celebrated his 26 birthday on March 7. He was born in Tulsa Oklahoma, nine and a half months after I lost his brother Taylor prematurely on May 21, 81 at about 26 weeks. ...a 2 pound 14 inch perfect adorable baby boy sleeping. Another tiny baby boy, Brandon was 5lbs and 15 oz and was 18? inches tall...........NICU for four weeks, then came home at five pounds to our new home and we becan to learn how to be a family of three. Oh the bliss of having Brandon home and growing and happy and oh so loving and gregarious, yes, even then! Our cat named Megan was our only nursery monitor at the time and she did a very great and dedicated service to Brandon by always letting us know, YOU need to go check on the boy. She would run from his room to us, to his room to us, over and over again...........Finally we got our acts together and she decided we were becoming worthy of her precious sweet smelling, squirming little bundle of something......a boy? Brandon was the perfect baby and toddler...........friendly and almost always demanded acknowledgement from people whoever they may have been, at least just take a second and acknowledge him in some manner.........much successful with his tactics.........he was just so incredibly cute. Time took us to Boulder Co a couple of years later. Clay was conceived late summer to early fall and was a good pregnancy compared to the prior two. Boulder was absolutely beautiful background to our home and it was peaceful serenity. At 36 weeks, I began to go into tremendous pain, so on that Sunday afternoon we arrived at the hospital worried and scared. He was a big baby, but he had gotten much too still..........never was he that still inside of me. Upon parking our car, he stirred as if everything was okay but we went on to labor and delivery for reassurance. Physical exam showed that my uterus was teetering on complete rupture, so they rushed me into my third emergency c section within a couple of hours. He was a big baby at 36 weeks...........6 lbs 15 oz and 21 inches long. He was absolutely beautiful and looked so healthy. But in a moments turn, he began to distress with his breathing and was rushed to the intensive care room at Boulder Community Hospital. He had a torn lung after breathing his first couple of breaths and he was spiraling downward horribly. A group of doctors and nurses from Denver Childrens Hospital were at the community hospital evaluating a three day old little girl who had been deemed non viable.......she was still alive three days later when Clay was born. Eventually both Anna and Clay were transported with much trepidation to Denver and they lived in the NICU together for three to four months. Anna weighed just a pound of butter plus a pat on top..............she was teenie, and she was strong willed and beautiful. So much time has been placed away in our memories, sometimes placed in an overwhelming returning nightmare that puts you right back in the very midst of such sorrow and fear. We have come such a long, narrow road together. During my time away from posting, I have been fighting tooth and nail for some improvements for Clay's continued life at home with mom and dad. Equipment needs cycle around in fairly predictable time tables and that is much of what has occurred of late. He has been growing wonderfully and remains quite healthy which is a tremendous blessing to all of us. We have been tied up with battles for lack of other expression, with agencies who are dedicated to helping our individuals be in our homes and our communities. The kick in the you know where is.............legalities have overtaken common sense approaches, compassion and empathy provisions for such families as our own. How I wish my family could just go and do and procure any and all things that would make Clay's life the best it could possibly be.......in all ways. But, the reality is we have no adequate resources on our own to assure the dreams and visions we have for Clay and friends just like him. So deserving, so contributing, so loving........these precious disciples are God's greatest teachers. We need to find ways for them to teach the things they hold true in faith and perseverance of their shattered physical characters. Seems like my surgeries will be rapidly approaching scheduling around mid June. Will just have to get there day by day and try really hard to keep my composure, somehow some composure, please? I keep trying to tell myself that once it is all gone and done, that I may just transform into the pretty little, light on her wings butterfly I've always dreamed of being. I don't know where things are leading, but my life is an open book to many I have not yet met, who still ask me to write something. So here is something, rattled but honest with my battled physical self wanting to bust free to be borderline deliriously happy in all things. High Calling.........But I know if I trust then I will eventually experience the dainty, sparkling, glittering flight of a butterfly skipping from one beautiful flower to the next beautiful flower...........just visiting........just taking it all in............forever saved in my heart's deepest chamber of best joys. Much love and hugs to you all...............I treasure you.

Friday, February 8, 2008

The Old Oil Lantern

The Old Oil Lantern
An oil lantern used well in earlier years,
Brings back to mind moments lit with happiness and tears.
Now dimpled and bent from former usage and age,
A calm faint fragrance reminds me of sage.
It looks dull from the buildup of tarnish and dust,
Yet the sticky trace of oil smells sweet, not of heavy musk.
Why is it hidden as if ashamed?
Didn't it once produce a wonderful flame?
It has long been set off to the closet’s darkened side,
Other things taking place where life and distraction now commonly reside.
But rediscovered this day it soon becomes clear,
This offers great treasure as it is cradled once again near.
Upon closer inspection it still has good form,
Even though it looks quite tattered and worn.
Get out a cloth, coat it with paste,
Rub it tenderly, without haste.
What is that shine trying to reappear?
The sparkle is returning, look it is here.
Wow, look at it now, how can we miss,
The beauty it imparts now back in our midst?
Bring out fresh oil, we'll refill it again,
Ignite and share the flame burning from within.
Why did we hide it because it was old,
Why didn't we realize it glowed of gold?
Annette Monts Falls
Words given Friday, February 8, 2008

During moments last night again fighting insomnia, words began to take shape, a visual was forming. God calmed me and spoke in gentle whispers. Annette, Dear Child never give up. Your value remains, even if hidden for a while. You have always had a light deep inside. Troubles caused you to want to hide. The vessel remains. Rediscover it, study it then understand, the light can be rekindled, it need not disappear. The fragrance left with you will always smell bittersweet, very often you feel overwhelmed, used up and worn; often the bitter seems to overtake the welcomed sweet. Yet struggles have provided the best cloth to use for polishing your treasure held within. Passion and fragrance grow and fade. Times seem dark and thick sometimes, covered over by gray fog. Make use of this “paste” wisely, and you will find that your vessel again can begin to shine. Fill your heart, let it freely spill. I live inside you. I feed your heart with special, life giving oil. Good things, bad things, it can take a toil……….just remember I will always be with you, supplying the nourishing light from within your heart with abundant oil. Isn't God wonderful to supply our oil? We can use the struggles as our very best paste. We can turn them into polish that brings forth comfort and light. We are all vessels to His use. Some of us are resilient like metal, some appear fragile and broken like Clay, yet we all are put through fire to become who He intends us to be. Both can be strong and withstand, side by side, made by God’s hands used together to the Glory of His Name. love and hugs, Annette