As the middle of the night continues I silently converse with self and with God. Wanting to soundly sleep, yet it eludes me. Words, some connected, some out of the blue invade my thoughts and attempts to pray with focus. How do they connect? What do they mean? So until I believe my eyes will rest and my soul quiet these are words I am pondering, questioning, wishing, and praying. Faith, wisdom, patience, understanding, prayer, perseverance, quiet, whisper, listen, share, believe, love, hope, plant, harvest, joy, fulfillment, talents, gifts, belief, doubt, fear, family, friends, discernment, encouragement, forgiveness, repentance, acceptance, denial, anger, joy, temptation, success, shout, witness, waiting, wanting, questioning, sorrow, life, death, easy, hard, weary, rested, respite, nurture, nature, numbness, pray, answers, beauty, evil, good, bad, white, black, gray, shape, covenant, promise, sin, overcome, weak, strong, happy, sad, good, bad, knowledge, friendship, family, Heaven, Earth, Hell, calm, storm, wild, meek, loud, quiet, blame, guilt, memories, desires, needs, provision, health, healing, sickness, worry, concern, virtues, spirit, awareness, enemy, survival, mother, father, brother, sister, friend, enemy, harm, intent, perception, dream, work, heart, soul, knowledge, understanding, character, information, justification, affirmation, service, loyalty, devotion, affection, failure, strive, accomplish, attempt, resolve, deny, trust, healing, passion, tears, joy, apathy, prejudice, heartbreak, jubilance, work, play, earn, owe, care, mercy, grace, resolution, cause, ramification, inclusion, exclusion, young, old, indifferent, offering, admit, bend, break, recover, broken, renewed, confirmation, trial, testing, challenge, reward, goal, win, lose, tie, confusion, strict, stern, convinced, kind, soft, mold, clay, rock, salvation, jealous, rival, contempt, sorrow, fire, rain, sun, moon, stars, infant, regret, learn, teach, show, give, take, gift, talent, fuel, smile, frown, quench, thirst, hunger, feed, unconditional, perspective, lessons, rest, sleep, renew, enlarge, multiply, conquer, divide, unite, freedom, slavery, injustice, shame, disciple, follow, lead, remember, proclaim, achieve, carry, restore............................more than an hour later the focus becomes blurred and I may very well have repeated the depths and the shallows of my mind, yet my eyes will not help me remove or edit words for now. Clay is stirring, Fred and Kleckley are snoring, and Gracie is loving and concerned. She will make biscuits on my pillow if I give in and allow quiet to overcome my restlessness. Perhaps she can purr me a lullaby.
