In Memory of My Firstborn

We Knew You Briefly

We knew you briefly,

Yet we loved you deeply.

Child of our own flesh and blood,

Emotions that spill over like a flood.

You were the promise of tomorrow,

How could you leave us in so much sorrow?

Born much too soon, you were gone in a glint,

But there was a good reason that you were sent.

We experienced the miracle of life growing inside of me,

Before we had to give you painfully back to Thee.

You taught us lessons we needed to learn,

We prayed to God; the purpose, how we yearned.

You taught us life should not be taken for granted,

You helped our future seed in good soil be planted.

For without true faith in God above,

How can we feel the wondrous power of love?

It was you, Baby Angel from above,

Who started our life's quilt:

Infinitesimal stitches you delicately wove.

Now it enfolds us in warmth and we feel peace that is secure,

Just like the soft blanket that wrapped you so exquisitely beautiful, tiny and demure.

The brief time you spent with us here,

Will always perhaps bring the shed of a tear.

But you, Baby Angel in Heaven above,

Are pure and peaceful and free as a dove.

We are reminded of you in good times and bad,

But now it is time to let go of the sad.

If tears fall now, let them be of joy,

Remembrances of you, our dear firstborn, a boy.

So even though all we now have is your tiny footprint,

We have the proof for us that you indeed were meant.

Just as Jesus died on the cross with so much passion,

You too, taught us about love, sacrifice and compassion.

You came and stayed only for a while,

And since that time we have traveled many a mile.

Yet you have always been with us in our hearts,

For such a deep love never truly departs.

Thank you for teaching us to the core down inside,

That God's love really can carry us deep and wide.

For even though we knew you briefly,

Our love for Christ has grown chiefly,

From feeling your presence away and far,

As you have tiptoed from moonbeam to star.

You keep watch over us day after day,

Helping to teach us in every way,

To grow more fully in God's abounding love,

And to trust in guidance from high up above.

written by:

Annette Monts Falls

words given about midnight, May 22, 2004 while reflecting upon Taylor Monts Falls,

2 pounds and 2 ounces, 14 inches long

Thursday, May 21, 1981 in Tulsa, Oklahoma

To Hear..."WELCOME TO HOLLAND"

Welcome To Holland

“I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this…

“When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guidebooks and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum, the Michelangelo David, the gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.

“After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, ‘Welcome to Holland’.

“ ‘Holland?!?’ you say. ‘What do you mean, Holland? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy! All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy!’

“But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.

“The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place.

“So you must go out and buy new guidebooks. And you must learn a whole

new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

“It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around, and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills, Holland has tulips, Holland even has Rembrandts.

“But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy, and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, ‘Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.’

“The pain of that will never, ever, ever go away, because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss.

“But if you spend your life morning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely unexpected things about Holland.”

Written by Emily Pearl Kingsley