Question of Ego.........

Life is so very complex. My mind is always playing tricks on me. I sit at this computer screen and attempt to express myself in a manner that can almost be anonymous in nature. I write and hit a send button..........why do I do this, I often ask myself. Why do you think you can write and send to so many names? Sometimes I feel conflicted after sending words out to Electronic Space. Yet I receive positive responses to my rambles and those are the immediate 'rewards' that I search so desperately for. Why is it then that a human mind can make a u turn and be apprehensive about lovingly accepting those responses when in the back of my mind, "Oh, you are getting too proud of yourself" begins to kick in and steals my attempted humility.........How do we know for sure we receive things in the humble manner? Why is it so difficult to hear and then allow ourselves the comprehension that yes, indeed, we matter to others in ways we could never matter to ourselves? Life is indeed very complex.........I hope I can learn to live it more fully.