Reshaping Our Vessel of Clay

How do eight weeks pass, summertime be well into July heat, and we can hardly remember our way home? Sometime today, God willing, we will leave the hospital and not have to be readmitted for a long time! Clay's gastrostomy mickey is now replaced with a Gastrostomy/Jejeunostomy tube.....a lot more obvious and larger than the simple mickey, but if jejeunostomy feeds keep us home, by golly we will happily accommodate larger tubing and learning a new method of feeding him after 24 years!!! His stomach no longer empties as it should because of bands of tissue and anatomy constricting the area that opens into the intestine and also keeps food from back flowing to the stomach......(it's all complicated and at 50, my brain is much foggier than when I was 26, so I'll just say complicated; it all makes sense, just no need to go into grand detail for now).....so the J tube will allow feeds to be absorbed by avoiding the stomach. We will use the G tube port for medication dispersal and water flushes, but for the enteral Nutren 2.0, we now will use a feeding pump and slow feed the majority of the day through the J tube. Overwhelming? YES! Adjusting ~ adapting? YES! Clay has had a gastrostomy since he was a year old....bolus feeds; now to convert back to a jejeunostomy and a feeding pump is a work in progress, but feasible. If this measure keeps him healthy and at home, we definitely will learn and adjust accordingly. It has been a very long eight weeks with only 14 nights cumulative with him at home between readmits. Prayerfully the docs from Internal Medicine have finally pinpointed why we kept needing to return with feeding issues. Thank God, they feel this has been the reason.....all he has been through has been difficult and exhausting. But Clay is still with us and we hope this new feeding regimen will be finishing glaze on his now reformed vessel. There is much more I can explain and possibly post, but for now a smaller post to update our status. Please keep Clay in your prayers. We appreciate all of them as we anticipate going home at some point today and very prayerfully, our lives will begin to get back to normal with some modifications and rest. We are blessed to still have Clay here with us......so many amazing miracles and extreme blessings during this eight week ordeal. I cannot fathom how Mary endured Jesus suffering; I experienced much conflict with emotions in my prayers and groans that words could not express as we watched Clay suffering horribly and painfully as he has. His journey here is not finished yet; he says his angels have been with him and he is to stay here with us. I don't know for how long, but I will treasure my jar of Clay for as long as God ordains our purposes here on Earth. He is sovereign and He deserves much praise for all He has provided. Love remains never ending. To all those reading this post I wish you much love, many hugs, and abundant blessings, Annette

please pray for Clay

Health crisis with Clay since the 17 of May........unresolved as yet and hospitalized. Also my Daddy has been just placed on Hospice Care...........Please keep us all in prayer requests. Thank you all. Love & hugs.........

Finding Strength in Weakness

How is it that other people around us see us at our strongest when we feel most vulnerable and weak? Quite suddenly I feel weak in my knees. The last two plus weeks have been so filled with fatigue. So filled with emotions…. controlled, some not so controlled. I’ve done well until a call from my mother has made me feel extremely vulnerable to her circumstance, Daddy’s circumstance, our own circumstance, other’s circumstance. Life can be harsh so suddenly. Sometimes it hangs by a thread. Sometimes the thread can thicken into a stronger more viable life line. Sometimes the thread completely severs. It is totally unpredictable. It is filled with bittersweet timing. It often is filled with unexpected joys and blessings. Just like the saying when a door closes God opens a window. I suppose I’m learning these last couple of weeks more than ever before that when a sorrow occurs, an unexpected act of kindness, compassion, love and joy comes along to sit with us. I will understand these things as God’s grace, God’s mercy, God’s unconditional love. Clay gave Patricia and I some hints today of his experiences of late. He wanted us to acknowledge Michelle’s photo over his bed…….his way of expressing angels with him. We asked him did he remember angels around him and he reassuringly said yes. We asked him if he was scared and he said no……well a little, but the angels kept him safe. He says they told him to stay with his family. Patricia welled up with tears several times today. She lost her favorite sister in law, Vern’s favorite sister to a heart attack a week ago. Clay was her comfort today. She gently and lovingly gave him a thorough bath, slowly cleansing the tape residue from all over his bruised, thinning frame. She coated him with warm, tender hands with body lotion. Brushed his teeth. Combed his long, wavy hair. Dressed him in a new birthday shirt she had brought for his birthday gift…….”I knew this shirt would look great on you Clay! When I saw it, I thought of you.” I’m not sure who poured more love today, Clay or Patricia. Both were the exact ministry the other one so needed. So much love. So much compassion. So much total dedication. There will be more things to put words to with upcoming weeks. I’m not sure what will evolve in the meanwhile. How sweet the confidence so many friends and family members hold in me to be the strong one, the comforter, the nurturer. How overwhelming the sensation of realizing such. I do not know the plans in these things. I can only and have only been following the voice of spirit that lives deep in the chambers of my heart. I love. Two simple words. I love. I need to add a third………deeply. I love deeply. I realize more and more that in return, I am loved deeply. It sweeps over me the grace of it all. It sweeps over me that God has entrusted me with much. It sweeps over me that He also now requires of me much. Not sure what it all involves, but I’ll certainly hope that I can continue to find strength and peace of spirit and heart to follow the whispers. I’ll pray that He fill me with a gentle, kind, compassionate sense of purpose and direction. I’ll ask for His sufficiency to get me from point A to point B. I’ll ask for courage. I’ll ask for strength in weakness. I will sometimes fall, sometimes fail. But I will also stand tall and strong and succeed along the way. For that I am grateful and I deeply realize the love I feel and give away to those who share the path with me. I am grateful. I am blessed. I am deeply loved.

Not Another Regular Saturday

How good it is to have Clay back home after 11 days in the hospital. Last Saturday we were still in Surgical Stepdown Unit after five days in the Surgical/Trauma Intensive Care Unit. He had two nights in a regular room and now he is home. How wonderful the phone call from one of the surgeons on late Thursday that we could bring him home! So, this is not another regular Saturday in our home. It is a Saturday of rejoicing for the progress Clay has made. Rejoicing for the privilege of bringing him home. Rejoicing for 24 years with an angel kept earthbound. Rejoicing with anticipation at what mighty plans God still has in our lives. It has been a long two weeks; a difficult two weeks; a blessed two weeks. We have experienced sorrows and we have experienced great joys and blessings. We have been comforted and we have comforted. We have been lifted and we have lifted. We have cried and we have laughed. We give thanks to God that we will continue to receive His perfect will in our lives. I bought a couple of simple bracelets in the Pink Lady gift shop at the hospital. One has Faith Hope Joy Love and flips to and the greatest of these is LOVE. The other one says HAVE FAITH and flips to EXPECT MIRACLES. I will wear these to remind me of this difficult two weeks and remember the faith, hope, joy and love it has contained. I will continue to HAVE FAITH and I will most definitely continue to EXPECT MIRACLES. Thanks be to God.

Perseverence in Prayer

A lock of Clay's precious, newborn hair with the prayer that hung over his bed the entire time he was in NICU in Denver, Colorado........kept since that time, 23 years and counting, in the book of JOB in my old King James Bible from my confirmation day, given to me by my mom and dad.

a prayer shared with thru the tulips blog moms and others

A Prayer ~ A Hope ~ An Almighty God I suppose moms that this is my coping method tonight to let go of some worries and frustrations of nearly 24 years of constant caregiving.......it is rewarding, it is blessing, it is delightful..........much if not most of the time; however, mama's like making things better and our hearts combined could be the heartbeat of a hurting world growing stronger because of the immense love shared and given. These are some of the times I dig deeper to calm myself, listen to whispers, search for resolutions. I'm very tired. Clay deserves so much more as a young adult male who is highly cognitive yet trapped in a physical body that denies him freedom of coordinated movement and a verbal, understandable ability to converse. He deserves the healing that will bring any movement he desires to undertake on his own ability and freedoms. He deserves dignity and respect. He deserves a life outside of parents' constant care and provisions. He deserves a miracle and I still believe in miracles. I still believe in answered prayers. I greatly believe in an all knowing, all loving, unconditional Papa God......I pray for my sisters and your children and your circumstances and needs......I love you all and you bring me joy and support that other's find difficult to comprehend. For these things I thank God.......may you find quiet moments, peaceful moments, and renewed spirits this Easter. May your precious children be given careful provisions by the Master..................A Prayer ~ A Hope ~ The Answers Are Almighty God Dear Lord, Father of all creation I praise you for the special encouraging moments you bring in our everyday lives. I praise you for stories of good when there is much dismay. I praise you for mercy shown by families, friends, and other Christians through your direction and plan.Lord, what a beautiful time this is. The trees are growing new leaves of green. The flowering shrubs and trees are bursting in color. The bulbs of beautiful, varied flowers are vibrant and strong. The pansies and violas as other spring varieties are spectacular just now and will soon be replaced with other varieties of annual flowers and greenery.The skies are blue and the clouds are billowing white. The birds and other animals are courting as you direct them to do so under your supervision. Deer stand so beautiful in my yard against the woods edge and in open fields in numerous groupings. Cotton tail bunnies are hopping around nibbling sweet clover growing. A number of kittens and puppies are making their appearances. The songbirds are singing beautiful melodies and choosing mates, courting, and building nests. The spectacular cardinal feeds his female tenderly. The mourning doves show up in pairs, so gently cooing, so greatly easing away my tension as I capture the love songs. The chickadees, Carolina Wrens and other small birds are busy as can be and are richly blessing my family with a magnified experience just through the picture glass patio door…….courting, building their nest, settling in, as I was realizing and photographing this morning five delicate brown speckled eggs in the tunneled nest chosen to be placed in my hanging ivy basket just outside the glass……hopefully mama and papa wren will allow me to photo ~ document the process of nest sitting, hatchlings, feedings and the gentle coaxing of the babies to try their wings. I observed this exact event a couple of years ago, from the same window and a hanging plant………..oh the joys of watching your immense feathered creation so intently. Hearing their songs are often the best medicine in rough days ~ weeks. So I thank you for gracing my yard with the songs and the beauty, the courting and the comic relief they often have about them also.As this new season of Spring gets underway I ask that you bless our families, our friends, our neighbors and our country. As we approach Holy Week and Easter morning, may we be greatly reminded of sacrifice and saving grace. May we more fully comprehend each year that your will includes for us, the story of Jesus and the cross. The opportunity to be new again, washed by his blood, sweat and tears for our salvation and forgiveness of sins. May we be reminded that you love us so much you willingly let your own son pay our debts…….all our debts completely, because of your infinite love and desire for us, your children of your design, of your creative hands that we may have deep connection and relationship with you.Father, I would ask that you hear our prayers and petitions and intercessions. So many are hurting and afraid. So many are alone and bitter. So many are facing terrible challenges ~ health ~ financial crisis. Please help our nation return to you and prioritize our relationship with you. Please help us turn from evil, idolizing, cruel, unethical, irresponsible, arrogant excesses. Help open eyes to your love, your will, your presence to give us hope and a future. You are an all knowing God. You are an all loving God. You formed us from your love first so that we could know what love truly is. You watch over us and keep us in your care. You have a plan and a will of action ~ service for our lives. Help us to clearly discern our purposes and have the courage to live fully the challenges and the joys and the in betweens.Father you know well before I ever put words to them the varying concerns in my individual heart……concerns for my sons, for my faithful husband, for my aging parents, for family members, for friends and for communities. The magnitude and intensities grow and we all need words shared with you over concerns for our country, for our planet, for our universe. Over every bit of your creation.Please Father help us understand things that are difficult to understand. Help us with things we simply don’t want to or are afraid to understand.Help us do more good, show more mercy, grace and love and forgiveness to all around us; close and distant proximity. Help us learn greater compassion, greater empathy, greater tolerance of those who are different somehow than we want them ~ expect them to be. Help us see challenged individuals in more positive light of possibility and contribution. Help us provide new avenues of independence, nurture and care in appropriate ways. Help parents continue to find the necessary strength to keep running the race you destined us to endure to the finish line, whatever that line may be and whenever that line becomes visible.Father I ask that you renew this creation in all manner that it bows down to you and hears your voice, be it nature or human form. Help us learn to love more completely, more Christ like with servant hearts. More unconditionally and willingly. More positively and humbly and effectively that love replaces hate, commonalities replace discriminations, poor become wealthy, sick become healed, Christians unite and pray together.These things and all the other things left unexpressed by inadequate words living in my heart, I bring to you on my knees and my face to the Heavens that you will answer lovingly and according to your plan and will as we ask these things in Jesus Christ. We thank you for sending him to save us so that we will have all things new in proper order.AmenAnnette Monts Falls ~ April 1, 2009

A Prayer ~ A Hope ~ An Almighty God

A Prayer ~ A Hope ~ The Answers Are Almighty God Dear Lord, Father of all creation I praise you for the special encouraging moments you bring in our everyday lives. I praise you for stories of good when there is much dismay. I praise you for mercy shown by families, friends, and other Christians through your direction and plan. Lord, what a beautiful time this is. The trees are growing new leaves of green. The flowering shrubs and trees are bursting in color. The bulbs of beautiful, varied flowers are vibrant and strong. The pansies and violas as other spring varieties are spectacular just now and will soon be replaced with other varieties of annual flowers and greenery. The skies are blue and the clouds are billowing white. The birds and other animals are courting as you direct them to do so under your supervision. Deer stand so beautiful in my yard against the woods edge and in open fields in numerous groupings. Cotton tail bunnies are hopping around nibbling sweet clover growing. A number of kittens and puppies are making their appearances. The songbirds are singing beautiful melodies and choosing mates, courting, and building nests. The spectacular cardinal feeds his female tenderly. The mourning doves show up in pairs, so gently cooing, so greatly easing away my tension as I capture the love songs. The chickadees, Carolina Wrens and other small birds are busy as can be and are richly blessing my family with a magnified experience just through the picture glass patio door…….courting, building their nest, settling in, as I was realizing and photographing this morning five delicate brown speckled eggs in the tunneled nest chosen to be placed in my hanging ivy basket just outside the glass……hopefully mama and papa wren will allow me to photo ~ document the process of nest sitting, hatchlings, feedings and the gentle coaxing of the babies to try their wings. I observed this exact event a couple of years ago, from the same window and a hanging plant………..oh the joys of watching your immense feathered creation so intently. Hearing their songs are often the best medicine in rough days ~ weeks. So I thank you for gracing my yard with the songs and the beauty, the courting and the comic relief they often have about them also. As this new season of Spring gets underway I ask that you bless our families, our friends, our neighbors and our country. As we approach Holy Week and Easter morning, may we be greatly reminded of sacrifice and saving grace. May we more fully comprehend each year that your will includes for us, the story of Jesus and the cross. The opportunity to be new again, washed by his blood, sweat and tears for our salvation and forgiveness of sins. May we be reminded that you love us so much you willingly let your own son pay our debts…….all our debts completely, because of your infinite love and desire for us, your children of your design, of your creative hands that we may have deep connection and relationship with you. Father, I would ask that you hear our prayers and petitions and intercessions. So many are hurting and afraid. So many are alone and bitter. So many are facing terrible challenges ~ health ~ financial crisis. Please help our nation return to you and prioritize our relationship with you. Please help us turn from evil, idolizing, cruel, unethical, irresponsible, arrogant excesses. Help open eyes to your love, your will, your presence to give us hope and a future. You are an all knowing God. You are an all loving God. You formed us from your love first so that we could know what love truly is. You watch over us and keep us in your care. You have a plan and a will of action ~ service for our lives. Help us to clearly discern our purposes and have the courage to live fully the challenges and the joys and the in betweens. Father you know well before I ever put words to them the varying concerns in my individual heart……concerns for my sons, for my faithful husband, for my aging parents, for family members, for friends and for communities. The magnitude and intensities grow and we all need words shared with you over concerns for our country, for our planet, for our universe. Over every bit of your creation. Please Father help us understand things that are difficult to understand. Help us with things we simply don’t want to or are afraid to understand. Help us do more good, show more mercy, grace and love and forgiveness to all around us; close and distant proximity. Help us learn greater compassion, greater empathy, greater tolerance of those who are different somehow than we want them ~ expect them to be. Help us see challenged individuals in more positive light of possibility and contribution. Help us provide new avenues of independence, nurture and care in appropriate ways. Help parents continue to find the necessary strength to keep running the race you destined us to endure to the finish line, whatever that line may be and whenever that line becomes visible. Father I ask that you renew this creation in all manner that it bows down to you and hears your voice, be it nature or human form. Help us learn to love more completely, more Christ like with servant hearts. More unconditionally and willingly. More positively and humbly and effectively that love replaces hate, commonalities replace discriminations, poor become wealthy, sick become healed, Christians unite and pray together. These things and all the other things left unexpressed by inadequate words living in my heart, I bring to you on my knees and my face to the Heavens that you will answer lovingly and according to your plan and will as we ask these things in Jesus Christ. We thank you for sending him to save us so that we will have all things new in proper order. Amen Annette Monts Falls ~ April 1, 2009

Amazing Witness

I've much to read at this site, but I can assure you it is an amazing witness involving a dedicated mother, a miracle baby girl and Jesus Christ. www.babyfaithhope.blogspot.com

MAY OUR... on this first day of Spring

May our sunshine be warm, the breeze be kind.

May the songbirds keep nesting, the butterflies winging.

May our skies be filled with all shades of blue.

May our clouds be safely speckled in billowing white.

May our days be long, may our nights be gentle.

May our garden be overflowing with fragrance.

May our vision be brilliantly colored in quietly swaying flowers.

May our thirst always be filled by sweet.

May Creation, in praise and in gratitude, lift eyes and voices;

Always to Our Father for all he has given.

Annette Monts Falls: reflections on this first day of Spring

March 20, 2009

I WISH YOU ENOUGH

I don't know who wrote these words of wisdom, but the descriptive always moves me.....so I'm copying it here as I wish you enough..................... Recently I overheard a mother & daughter in their last moments together at the airport. They had announced the departure. Standing near the security gate, they hugged & the mother said, 'I love you, & I wish you enough.' The daughter replied, 'Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom.' They kissed & the daughter left. The mother walked over to the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see she wanted & needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on her privacy, but she welcomed me in by asking, 'Did you ever say good-bye to some one knowing it would be forever?' 'Yes, I have,' I replied. 'Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?'.. 'I am old, & she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead & the reality is - the next trip back will be for my funeral,' she said. 'When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, 'I wish you enough.' May I ask what that means?'She began to smile. 'That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone.' She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail, & she smiled even more. 'When we said, 'I wish you enough,' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them.' Then turning toward me, she shared the following as if she were reciting it from memory. I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more. I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive & everlasting. I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.. I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting. I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess. I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye. She then began to cry & walked away. They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them; but then an entire life to forget them.

FIND YOUR WINGS

Another day, many blessings, devotions. May this video bless to the Glory of God: http://www.tangle.com/view_video.php?viewkey=60224d3d096f81bfc6bf&mui=d523dad9bdc341c61a9640c3b2554bd6

While I'm Waiting

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bb7TSGptd3Y If this link comes through it is a beautiful video of a wonderful song entitled While I'm Waiting performed by John Waller. The song is heard on the movie FIREPROOF; however, this is a different video to the same exact song. It (the song and this particular video version) ministered to me in many ways as I listened to the lyrics and the music is so beautiful and moving. For my specific needs it reassured me that as we hope and pray for a miracle to pull together for a new type of residential setting for young adults like Clay we are to wait and worship and serve. So I post this more so in a manner of hearing WHILE WE'RE WAITING......not always peacefully and calmly perhaps as we should wait, but that we are to continue to worship and to serve Him while we wait for our answers as we put our trust in Him in all things.

Blessings in Difficult Times

Just a quick note to thank God for blessings during difficult times.........too many to explain at this time of night for a gal short on sleep, but I will try to make it back here soon and be more explanatory. We lost a family member on Sunday evening...my paternal uncle's wife. That means my parents are the only ones still together of the four brothers all still here with us. We are blessed that my dad still has my mom and that we still have them both. So many blessings mixed in with so many sorrows and difficult circumstances. Longevity.........94, just under 92, and quickly following 90 and 88........four amazing Monts boys who fought for our country against evil. Amazing stories. Amazing grace. Amazing sufficiency. Amazing provision. Amazing family. Yes, despite the harsh nature of life for many of us in different ways, there are indeed blessings in difficult times. God bless and keep us in His care.

Chocolates and Valentine's Day

It is Valentine's Day, 2009 PM

This was something written and reshared via emails recently, and on facebook that occured last year just days before Valentine's.....since it was written, Patricia's mom, Ms Elizabeth did pass away...a month or so later and was buried on the Saturday before Psalm Sunday. We attended the services; it was a blessing! Sunrise, Sunset.......and an incredible witness of singing......especially "I'll Fly Away"........the following from last year so close in nature to this year in circumstance and other things....but all that is another story sometime perhaps.....

written last year Feb 11, 2008...........very similar to the same type of week, this week, minus the chocolates.... Feb 2009........very, very strange, but true:

I hope you enjoy.....Here it is nearing 10:30 and I wanted to give an update. Fred is out of town this week. Around an hour ago, I went in to give Clay his last meds and feeding, change him for bed and such. I could not find Clay. Unbeknownst to me, he had managed to open a cellophane wrapped heart shaped box of chocolates and in delightful mischief, covered himself in attempts to eat them. His bed looked like Gracie and Kleckley had decorated with cat poop scratched from the litter box.......tiny ones, big ones, in between ones. Chocolate smeared upon the headboard and sides that surround him. Chocolate all melted and smeared into his sheet, into his clothes, into his hair and all over his person. At least chocolate smells much better than kitty poop.........thank you Lord for little things......of course, he is smiling all over like a Cheshire cat that ate the yellow canary. Oh how I wish I had remembered Clay's camera and gotten proof........Claude (neighbor & friend) is an eyewitness! Clay should have seen what he looked like.Patricia (care attendant, now with us for 2 years) told us this morning that her mother looked really bad yesterday. She was worried about her while she helped with Clay, and Clay did his best to cheer her up and make her laugh. He asked for a church bulletin which she finally found in our van while he was working on the computer. He was taking scripture and combining things into a 'sermon'......to which she just could not help but laugh at his creativity. She left to work her shift at Midland Center. Clay and I decided to call her cell and cheer her with the chocolate story. It cheered her, but her family had all been called to her mother's side.........I am not certain if she said her mother had already passed or was about to. Her voice broke up and I did not want to distract her once I realized what she was relaying. Please include Patricia in prayers as this moment has been anticipated for over a year now. In one of my prior mailings, I detailed more about Patricia and the stresses she is enduring. The passing brings resolution but that does not make it easy. Realizing that Clay would need cleaning up and bedding and clothing switched, I called upon Claude to assist me. When the news was on earlier I had gotten Clay in his lift only for the battery to die..........when the battery dies it will lower but it will not pick up, so he had to remain in his room. He did not get upset with me, but you could see he really wanted to be in his recliner on the computer. I appeased him and hooked up the battery charger to the lift. I promised before learning about her mom, that Patricia and I would get him to his recliner first thing tomorrow morning and set up his computer. He watched TV and then requested I switch over to FM country 92. He had been given the box of chocolates at church yesterday..........it never crossed our thoughts that he could manage to tear the cellophane, open the box and eat the chocolates lying down without my having a clue. He was laughing and 'chatting' from his room, in perfect listening range as I watched TV. I had no reason to expect something like that and was relieved that he wasn't upset and cranky with just mom around. So imagine the shock when I decided it was time for the two of us to quiet down for bed.............never a dull moment.With Claude's kind assistance, we were able to roll him from one area to another and remove / change his sheet. We changed his clothing and of course, he was just delighting in the entire scene. So I finally got his meds and feeding accomplished. I've prayed that he not get diarrhea or throw up sick from particles of cellophane and sugar loaded chocolate that he managed to ingest. I came out here to catch my breath and pray that he and I both sleep peacefully without further comedic or dramatic pursuit. If we are lucky Kleckley will decide not to prowl during the night singing his most romantic songs......he is deaf but he sure can sing. The last several nights have been rehearsal for some Valentine rendezvous he has playing in his cat brain. The subject always an article of my clothing...........never any one else's; mine he manages to pull out of the closet or the bathroom floor. Fred should be back late Thursday...........I'm not very pleased that he is less than two hours away and resting peacefully in a motel room, snoring away with no threats of interruption. I won't pretend to be that cooperative just now. Hopefully you all will understand my reasons. I ask that you lift those prayers for Patricia and her family. I ask that you lift prayers for Clay and I to get through without her assistance. I ask that you remember Fred's job and also Brandon's success in securing one with dependable, regularly paid compensation. I ask any other additional things you may include for progress and perseverance with great 'peace' to follow.I will now get ready for shut eye and change out of my chocolate clothing. I will be thankful that snoring will not be a problem while Fred is away......there are perks........gotta dig deep sometimes, but quiet is a perk. I wish all of you sweet dreams with love and hugs, Annette

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~follow up, next day……………..

these can't come close to the actual event, there was much more scattered about and smeared.......sheet has already been laundered for the next change necessity, but they provide clues..............he is extremely subdued today........hope it is not cellophane stomach......... visualize him on his tummy, face down upon the candy, licking it up like a dog long denied.........the 'poops' untouched as recovered..............

Valentine's Day 2009

Happy Valentine's Day!

led to this scripture:

from Galatians 5; 22 & 23

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness,

goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

The Blessings of Spring

Who cares about what the groundhog saw? It is coming with blessings...it is just around the bend. The winter is ending and spring will be inventing:

The Blessings of Spring

The familiar scent of rain that comes after the winter snow,

The whistle of the wind that with fury may blow,

The glorious worth of much welcomed sunshine,

The first taste of berries picked fresh from the vine.

Fluffy and white clouds against a brilliant blue sky,

A child's colorful kite that dances way up on high,

The courtship of songbirds getting ready to nest,

Assurance of new life that stretches east and west.

The steady whir of the hummingbird's wings,

The beautiful sound of the dove who sings,

The kaleidoscope of color from the butterfly's flight,

The wonder of lightening bugs that twinkle at night.

The splendor of flowers fresh in the morning hue,

Wet glistening droplets of evening dew,

The crisp, clean smell of just cut grass,

The lake that sparkles like diamonds and glass.

The caress of cool breezes that tickle the skin,

The chirping of crickets that signal day's end,

A melody of whippoorwills calling 'round the bend,

'Tis taste of God's sweetness encouraging me then,

Words of praise and thanksgiving to send.

Thank you LORD for all these things,

Reminders of endless and beautiful gifts you bring,

For sight, and taste, and touch and smell,

and sounds of nature in glory that ring,

We offer this song, in praise we sing,

Great are Thy beautiful blessings of spring!

words given August 8, 2003

Annette Monts Falls

Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth. Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs. Know that the Lord is God. It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.

Psalm 100

TO REALIZE THE VALUE

To realize The value of a sister/brother: Ask someone who doesn't have one. To realize The value of ten years: Ask a newly divorced couple. To realize The value of four years: Ask a graduate. To realize The value of one year: Ask a student who has failed a final exam! To realize The value of nine months: Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn. To realize The value of one month: Ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby. To realize The value of one week: Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper. To realize The value of one minute: Ask a person who has missed the train, bus or plane. To realize The value of one-second: Ask a person who has survived an accident. Time waits for no one.

Treasure every moment you have.

You will treasure it even more when you can share it with someone special.

To realize the value of a friend or family member:

LOSE ONE. The origin of this letter is unknown, Remember... Hold on tight to the ones you love! Peace, love and prosperity to all!

I can't take any credit in this except that it touched my heart and I wanted to post it here.....this is the only sentence I can claim, but I value the time spent here.

Facing Giants

Wednesday has come and gone..........I realize it is already Thursday, rapidly approaching 2 AM. It has been just the Clay bug and me tonight.........his caregiver left around 2 and he has been so gracious and patient with me. I think he just drifted into slumber after 'chattering' in his room, in the dark with the light up stars on his ceiling......you know the ones you hold light to and then they glow for a while.......so very pretty. I just realized he has stars for his ceiling and water for his resting. We cuddled on his water bed and watched Facing the Giants video together. I looked around his room for the eagles that are posted and keeping watch. I realized a very small eagle was embroidered on his shirt.......he found it amusing. Clay finds so many things amusing; his wit keen and quick. The scripture just outside his door from Isaiah 40 and the eagle flying confident and free. He noticed tears in my eyes as the movie ended and he simply gave me that all knowing grin and gazed at me with eyes that seem as deep as the ocean and as vast in wisdom. The if onlys .... if only Clay could talk, if only Clay could sit up, if only Clay could walk........if onlys. If only Clay could express the depths of his understanding and love of Jesus. We know it is in him......we know it is him......the journeys angels carried him safely as a newborn to overcome the pain and to face the giants of severe medical obstacles and death. He remembers and it shines through his countenance, his jubilant spirit, his humor. How I wish he could 'explain' it to me in a greater manner yet I also know that God only allows Clay to teach us certain things at certain times to certain extents. Just now I try to find words to express my gratitude for tonight's time out for this tired mama and enlightened adult, totally dependent son. I try to find words to thank God for the might of the eagle in the face of giants.

On a Lighter Note

Clay's, KLECKLEY, a deaf blue eyed white cat is crying out loud for his 'bread' to be given to him and served with a fresh bowl of water........of course I'm not filling his cup with wine! I miss our three legged Golden Retriever named Ashley......she now runs on four in Heaven. I suppose our handicap accessible home I worked so hard to 'design' fifteen years ago has been a huge success.......not just for Clay and his wheelchair, but for pets, for aging parents and friends needing ~ appreciating easy ins and outs.........for planning our own senior needs....are we really approaching that milestone so soon that striking our foot on a stone is more realistic to instead strike our wheels against stones? Occasionally I remember and give thanks for ideas for posting a lighter note.

Stealing Bread Crumbs

It is said that when one draws closer to God, Satan pulls greater distractions, greater attempts to foil our plan to be with our Father of fathers. In just these past few days, I've been hitting one speed bump after another placed by the devil to thwart my progress to a greater place, to greater peace, to greater worship. Satan is doing his best to steal my bread crumbs and sour the wine. My energy level is dropping as a large, heavy rain comes down in a storm. As the energy is depleted so is the emotional, spiritual, mental state of mind. The rather short lived respite from what is leading to a greater possibility to be related to Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, has returned before I wanted it to. The 'relief' of medical consults and justifications of how I've felt for quite some time helps me to understand it, but it also makes it difficult to learn to live with things and cope with unexpected bad days. These are times my emotions seem to go up and down like a gigantic roller coaster at the huge 'get away' 'have some fun' type of distraction. The bread crumbs get trampled, eaten up by something, someone else. Constant phone calls concerning care coordination for my parents and for Clay, scheduling my own medical followups and new referrals, finding some me time outside of home with limited in home care for Clay.........I'm losing sight of my bread crumbs.........the devil is devouring a large portion of God's fuel for me. Some days it seems Satan has taken each and every little crumb of bread and sip of wine that God intended me to find and be nourished by. I despise the devil and his ploys. Lord, help me to cling to you and not give in to one who hates my love of my Father. I will always be his child and I will find ways to overcome the continual stumbling blocks that are thrown at me that tempt me to fall and forget how to get back up. I will always be hungry for bread and wine.

Finding Bread Crumbs

The last couple or so weeks of my life are difficult to find words to put description. These last years of physical, and I will fully admit...mental and emotional conflict have been antagonistic to say the least. Spiritually I've had low days and I've had high days. Yet I feel deep inside God is giving me bread crumbs to follow.....feeding me along the path. Perhaps I'm not so much Searching For Annette as I am now beginning to allow "Finding Annette"...... maybe I can rest and sip a little wine along the way also.... 'communing' with Jesus. Special ways for special needs....my own needs and not just every one else's I've enabled instead of empowered through the Holy Spirit living in me and in them also. So much, so many 'whisperings', so limited time and energies that I really need to listen how to work it all into and out of my day to day being. How to prioritize and yes, organize...I'm not too good at that ...I openly admit it... it overwhelms me sometimes the thoughts of organization, but I know the necessity of becoming better at that ~ with that. So much I want to do, to share, to offer......God give me direction in all those areas and more I'm not admitting to or realizing. Help me be ME.....a better reflection of YOU.......thanks for encouraging and keeping me sustained with bread and with wine. With you all things are becoming possible like never before......and so YOU lead me here just in this moment ~

Psalms 4

Answer me when I call to you, O my righteous God.

Give me relief from my distress; be merciful to me and hear my prayer.

How long, O men, will you turn my glory into shame?

How long will you love delusions and seek false gods?

Know that the LORD has set apart the godly for himself;

the LORD will hear when I call to him.

In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds,

search your hearts and be silent.

Offer right sacrifices and trust in the LORD.

Many are asking, "Who can show us any good?"

Let the light of your face shine upon us, O LORD.

You have filled my heart with greater joy than when their grain and new wine abound.

I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone,

O LORD, make me dwell in safety.

self explanatory; please watch

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yl0HLn118pM

In Memory of My Firstborn

We Knew You Briefly

We knew you briefly,

Yet we loved you deeply.

Child of our own flesh and blood,

Emotions that spill over like a flood.

You were the promise of tomorrow,

How could you leave us in so much sorrow?

Born much too soon, you were gone in a glint,

But there was a good reason that you were sent.

We experienced the miracle of life growing inside of me,

Before we had to give you painfully back to Thee.

You taught us lessons we needed to learn,

We prayed to God; the purpose, how we yearned.

You taught us life should not be taken for granted,

You helped our future seed in good soil be planted.

For without true faith in God above,

How can we feel the wondrous power of love?

It was you, Baby Angel from above,

Who started our life's quilt:

Infinitesimal stitches you delicately wove.

Now it enfolds us in warmth and we feel peace that is secure,

Just like the soft blanket that wrapped you so exquisitely beautiful, tiny and demure.

The brief time you spent with us here,

Will always perhaps bring the shed of a tear.

But you, Baby Angel in Heaven above,

Are pure and peaceful and free as a dove.

We are reminded of you in good times and bad,

But now it is time to let go of the sad.

If tears fall now, let them be of joy,

Remembrances of you, our dear firstborn, a boy.

So even though all we now have is your tiny footprint,

We have the proof for us that you indeed were meant.

Just as Jesus died on the cross with so much passion,

You too, taught us about love, sacrifice and compassion.

You came and stayed only for a while,

And since that time we have traveled many a mile.

Yet you have always been with us in our hearts,

For such a deep love never truly departs.

Thank you for teaching us to the core down inside,

That God's love really can carry us deep and wide.

For even though we knew you briefly,

Our love for Christ has grown chiefly,

From feeling your presence away and far,

As you have tiptoed from moonbeam to star.

You keep watch over us day after day,

Helping to teach us in every way,

To grow more fully in God's abounding love,

And to trust in guidance from high up above.

written by:

Annette Monts Falls

words given about midnight, May 22, 2004 while reflecting upon Taylor Monts Falls,

2 pounds and 2 ounces, 14 inches long

Thursday, May 21, 1981 in Tulsa, Oklahoma

To Hear..."WELCOME TO HOLLAND"

Welcome To Holland

“I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this…

“When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guidebooks and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum, the Michelangelo David, the gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.

“After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, ‘Welcome to Holland’.

“ ‘Holland?!?’ you say. ‘What do you mean, Holland? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy! All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy!’

“But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.

“The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place.

“So you must go out and buy new guidebooks. And you must learn a whole

new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

“It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around, and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills, Holland has tulips, Holland even has Rembrandts.

“But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy, and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, ‘Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.’

“The pain of that will never, ever, ever go away, because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss.

“But if you spend your life morning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely unexpected things about Holland.”

Written by Emily Pearl Kingsley

Kindle The Flame

From November, 2004: Last night as I lie awake, I asked God to let me know if I am following him the way he wants me to. I sometimes worry I overload many of you with words that intrude into your privacy and personal domain. Sometimes Satan tries to make me feel inadequate and unworthy to send these things out like I do…but then, God answers me this morning with a brief email from a stranger who let me know without doubt that she is appreciative of reminders to feel thankful and blessed because of the overwhelming stresses of her life presently. I hope somehow that my words can help her fuel her faith in Christ, and bring encouragement to persevere. We all burn down many times in our lives, and it is often just one person who can come along at the right moment to breathe warmth and energy back into what so often feels like dying embers. Given the chance, those embers will find enough spark to kindle new flames and hope in life. Many thanks to those of you who continue to encourage my light to shine….love and hugs, Annette

Kindle the Flame

When life begins, so does the flame,

The spark is lit when we are given our name.

Our light shines steady as we continue to grow,

Then bit by bit we learn to intensify the glow.

We enter adulthood and the fire burns strong,

We search for the path to where we belong.

Sometimes we lose our way and the flame may dim,

But we continue to push on and overcome the grim.

Sometimes we are content with a slow steady burn,

Sometimes there are changes for which we yearn.

There times it seems our light grows cold,

There are times we seem quite lost and old.

These are the times we need to find a friend,

Someone who knows how to find the light still within.

Someone who will not judge us nor find blame,

A special friend who knows how to rekindle the flame.

For how can a fire burn without fuel?

How can one survive all that seems cold and cruel?

It takes someone who has already conquered the game,

Someone who can breathe new life into a burned out flame.

So as we go about our day to day,

Ask God if He will point out the way,

To the one who feels their light is becoming just a tiny flicker,

Feed them with encouragement until their light grows thicker.

Then step aside and give space to the lovely renewed light,

Watch it grow strong and become again bright.

Foster the freedom to go light the way,

For it too will give another nurture one day.

We all need someone to call out our names,

Someone we can trust to rekindle our flames.

Thanks to those who have helped me with mine,

Now let us all go out and let our lights shine!

Annette Monts Falls Words given November 7, 2004

You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot e hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on it’s stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven. Matthew 5: 14-16

MOST PRECIOUS HEAVENLY FATHER

Something I wrote from October, 2005

Most Precious Heavenly Father,

As I ponder different events and circumstances of late,

I come to you now with requests to make.

Father, if it be Thy will,

Peace inside us all instill?

Can you help us understand regardless the cost,

We need to fervently reach out to those who are lost?

Can you give us the words best to say,

When someone we know has had a bad day?

Can you help us turn words of profanity in ways,

That instead become words of endless praise?

Can you help us turn against violent rage,

Bring freedom to those who feel locked in a cage?

Can the world as we know it, every nation,

Remember our roots are by your creation?

Can we harvest the energies of turbulent storms,

And share the seeds from which love and faith are formed?

Can we bring rest to those who are worn and weary,

Can you help us help them to see things more clearly?

The strengths of your mercy and grace are magnificent,

Help them to understand you love is all sufficient?

Help us Precious Lord to...

Bring hope to the discouraged, beaten down soul.

Bring comfort to those who are hurting, young and old.

Help us be a candle burning brightly to show others the way,

That all things become possible when they begin to pray.

Help us demonstrate that your love does not cease,

Help us share with others your abounding and everlasting peace.

Help us teach others Lord, the promise you made,

Through Jesus' death on the cross, our debts have been paid.

Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for listening to my requests,

With Jesus beside me I have been so blessed.

Please bless and keep my loved ones near,

Family, friends and other ones here.

AMEN

To His Glory,

Annette Monts Falls

October 12, 2005

The Cocoon First, Then The Beautiful Butterfly

The Cocoon First, Then The Beautiful Butterfly

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress.It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could, and it could go no further. So the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings. The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body,which would contract in time. Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.What the man, in his kindness and haste, did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon. Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our lives. If we were allowed to go through our lives without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. We could never fly!

Emerging From The Cocoon

The butterfly and the special childFeb 19, 2008 Author: Kyron Filed under: Articles, Inspiriation, Magazines, Strategies This month’s Ladies Home Journal has a small piece by Robin Roberts of ABC’s Good Morning America fame. Robin, if you were unaware has been recently diagnosed with breast cancer and is undergoing treatment. While obviously this is not a blog about cancer, her message in this piece I think can speak to all parents of special needs children. She tells the story of the butterfly and how she feels it’s a fantastic analogy for how adversity being a valuable teacher, and how this adversity can leave us stronger than when we started.Robin describes how the emerging butterfly beats its wings against the cocoon repeatedly to escape. She relates how if the butterfly were to be cut free of the cocoon and not win its freedom through the struggle it doesn’t gain the necessary strength to survive. I have always thought of my daughter as a butterfly as well. My original theory sprang from the metamorphosis of a caterpillar into a butterfly and the entire struggle they go through to get to that point and emerge this beautiful and graceful creature. I do believe that Robin’s butterfly analogy still applies to all our children. Each one in their own way may have a struggle, a cocoon from which they will escape. Beating their wings they slowly emerge having overcome one adversity or another. No matter how many cocoons your youngster must fight their way through it will make them stronger. Let your child break through the cocoon. Be there to cheer them on, but let them be the ones to break through. To cut your butterfly loose from it’s cocoon would not allow it to win it’s freedom and would not give it the strength it needs to live it’s life. As the parent of a special child, sometimes it’s harder I think to watch the struggle. You feel like you need to help cut open the cocoon. You need to facilitate, but the breakthrough must be their own, hard won maybe, but their own. Without question we are all blessed with some amazing butterflies.

INFERTILE SOIL?

Infertile Soil? Today, May 19, 2007 is Clay's 22 birthday. Twenty-two years is quite a while to live considering how many times we were told that his survival would be short lived. Time after time, event after event, Clay would overcome what seemed to be the impossible. Even from his very first breaths outside of his fluid filled, safe environment of my womb, he had to struggle. Those very first breaths that ruptured his lung........that stole happy, excited moments from all of us. From being wheeled in my recovery bed halfway into a tiny room in Boulder, Colorado, where he struggled and staff feared his death so imminent that I was on public display, during visiting hours that overflowed with flowers, balloons, brightly wrapped presents, and excited faces that passed around me. I looked at those particular series of photographs.....seems like such a life time ago, yet memories can prevail and I can find myself right back in that very setting and the sorrows that came with it. Twenty-two years have passed..........will still survive, yet obviously it has passed with negative impact as well as the more welcomed positive outcomes. Clay possesses a jubilant spirit.......a limitless attitude.........a forever smile and bright, mischievous eyes. (Looking at him today in the bright sunshine, he now has widespread, chaotic facial hair........it is so difficult to keep him 'clean shaven' and it darkens and thickens more quickly than I would like to keep up with it.) The last few nights have once again brought 'growing pains'. Severe muscle spasms that hit spontaneously as he shifts his sleeping position. Spasms that do not want to relax as he can so quickly flex back into rigidity. Yet, more times than not, he bounces back with that winning personality and wit.........(this is often not the case with either parent!).......it is a warped wit, but keen and active I believe 24 hours a day. I often wonder what he dreams about. Several weeks ago I planted a large 'batch' of flower seeds that a dear friend had given me. I had worked the ground, pulled the weeds, turned over the mixture of soil components. I spread the seeds, watered and have waited with anticipation the little shows of green that should have arrived by this time. Day after day, I have gone out and felt disappointment that it simply looked the same as the day before.........better than it looked before I made the effort to 'clean' it up and enrich it, but not the progress I had hoped for. So I ponder, is my soil infertile or are my seeds sterile? Perhaps it is a combination of both trying to steal my joy of accomplishment. Joy of watching green shoots grow and develop into blossoms of changing colors. Joy of anticipating the butterflies and the hummingbirds that 'could' enjoy a visit and receive a sweet, and hopeful, abundant supply of tasty, plentiful nectar. So, I suppose I will start almost all over again. I will reseed and water accordingly. Perhaps the 'spring' will decide to stick around and the ground can warm without unexpected chills. Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps! Truthfully, a few hours ago, I began to think that I, in a very personal manner, have experienced much infertile soil. I know that I have planted seeds for more than the twenty-two years that have had the greatest impact upon my life and my spirit. I know of some that sprouted, grew and matured to beautiful harvest..........yet, it seems like many perished and ~ or failed to thrive. To be completely honest, I want and need to harvest. I desire to feel successful at planting. I hope my seeds to be the purest quality. I want my soil to be nurturing and rewarding. I want.......I want.........I want!!! After all, how long are some of these seeds suppose to germinate?! Then this little glimmer of knowledge begins to permeate my self-loathing. "Annette, we all sometimes feel our planting is in vain. Sometimes we feel our planting is self-serving and deserved. Sometimes we all feel our storms just keep ripping away the sunshine. Remember I promised the rainbow. How could you truly experience the bliss if you had not weathered the turbulent storm?" So, in writing, I hope I have reassured my impatient soul that a harvest is waiting. I hope that reading this, your hearts might be reassured with a glint of new hope. That in sharing and living, we build one another up. That when we plant together, our harvests are more than abundant..........they are eternal. With much love, Hershey kisses, and many hugs to all of you who help me plant and give me the 'fertilizer' (and I am not merely hinting MANURE!) I need at just the right moments................... Annette ~ 5-19-2007 at 9:30 PM

Hanging Around in My Garden ~

My last tulip, birthed May 19, 1985....photo taken January 23...Physical Therapist, Sharon Adams......gee he is thinking what great fortune.....not every guy can hang around with such a beautiful woman!

Tending to Fragile Flowers

Tending tulips........in connection to Welcome to Holland for those of us who have made the unplanned, sudden trip but landed safely despite confused hearts.....I think of the different colors, different shapes, different classifications as the different 'challenges' each tulip presents and triumphs over. The different classifications of special needs families.....we all grow in God's garden. Some require more attention and care than others, some are more sensitive to our environments and the unpredicted, often stormy weather; but we are all equal and blooming in a spectacular garden, equal in His eyes. Thank you Lord for changing my destinations... detours from what I had planned all three birthing experiences...I've been a grumbling traveler, a tired passenger; I'm understanding more fully how much color it has painted into my life. My canvas is growing and the work of Thy hands is spectacular! Masterpieces in the making all by God's merciful plan and purpose. AMEN!

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

from the 12th chapter of Romans

TRANSFORMED

I have always loved butterflies. Their beauty and their grace of flight from one flower or object to another. I love to put bananas out in spring/summer for them to feed just outside my big window with the bird feeder and bath........only squirrels like to eat my bananas, and plunder my seed. I know they are God's creation also; an older friend, now deceased, used to call them rats with fancy tails.....sometimes I feel compassion for them but honestly a lot of the time I feel frustration that they take everything I put out for the wonder of the birds and the butterflies that grace my little spot created for much of my meditation and conversation with the Lord. Absorbing the beauty and the activity of the birds feeding, drinking and splashing FEED and FILL my creativity and enfolds my soul with words that sometimes I can be motivated to write and share with others of similar hearts. I spend much time conversing with God as I watch the beauty outside my window.......you can learn a lot about commonalities among the birds.....they share the bounty and the water with little conflict between them. For the most part there is no discrimination between them...........red, yellow, blue, black and white.......they all get along......such a lesson to us about commonalities versus differences. I love to hear their chatter, their 'twittering' and their songs to our Lord in Thanksgiving. I love butterflies because they have survived the struggle and confines of their cocoons prior to stretching their wings and taking flight........such beauty, I strive to be like a beautiful butterfly, stretching my wings, finding new ways to take flight, gracefully landing here and there, bringing cheer and hope to those places I light upon and take back off again. Thank you God for butterflies, for songbirds, and beauty all around us. I praise Him for sharing with us so abundantly and I hope I bring him praise in return.

THERE WILL BE A DAY

THERE WILL BE A DAY

I try to hold on to this wold with everything I have, but I feel the weight of what it brings and the hurt that tries to grab. The many trials that seem to never end, His word declares this truth, that we will enter in His rest with wonders anew.

But I hold on to this hope and the promise that He brings, that there will be a place with no more suffering.

There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain and no more fears. There will be a day when the burdens of this place will be no more. We'll see Jesus face to face. But until that day we'll hold onto You always.

I know the journey seem so long. You feel you're walking on your own. But there has never been a step where you've walked out all alone. Troubled soul, don't lose your heart 'cause joy and peace He brings, and the beauty that's in store outweighs the hurt of life's sting.

I can't wait until that day where the very one I've lived for always will wipe away the sorrow that I've faced. To touch the scars that rescused me from a life of shame and misery. This is why this is why I sing.

Jeremy Camp ~ Revelations 21:4 ~ Speaking Louder Than Before